“Go put some makeup on.”

Self care is a hot button topic these days. Taking care of oneself is something busy people neglect to do in the chaos of all our “doing”. There are articles and blogs and posts ad nauseum that recommend ways to approach and integrate self care into your lives. I’m not going to go into any of that. I’m going to be entirely nostalgic and self serving right now. You see, this is MY self care…writing and then shoving it in all your faces. 😉😄

When I was a teenager, and I was feeling teenager-y (angsty, depressed, weepy, etc), my mom used to tell me, “go put some makeup on, you’ll feel better!” Now, in my angsty weepy insecure teenager head, what I heard coming out of my mother’s mouth was “you need makeup, go take care of that”, and when she would say that to me it would make whatever mood I was in that much worse. I really resented her saying that, but these days as I’m slightly more emotionally mature, I can actually see the wisdom in her suggestion. It’s not that she was saying that I needed makeup, or that I wasn’t beautiful just the way I was, but that I did (do) feel better with a little bit of makeup on. I really do love makeup and always have. Taking that little bit of extra time to do something for myself definitely helps change my mood, as it did hers. She was just trying to impart a little wisdom into my hard head.

I’ve been thinking about this teenage memory quite a bit over the last few days. I’m in a rut. Feeling a little bit depressed. My 42nd freaking birthday is coming up, and I have a lot of gray hairs and my body is changing a lot. It’s a bit disconcerting. It’s not that I’m afraid of growing older per say…I’m just not quite ready to embrace my crone years. I feel like that’s a few decades off, I just gotta figure out what to do with myself right here and now.

I don’t wear much makeup. Only once a week when I go to church to keep everyone from asking if I feel okay. And I definitely don’t do my hair…like ever. I’m extremely low maintenance, but I also feel like I’m not living my best life. It’s because I just don’t care enough about myself to do anything with myself. And I really want to change that. I’m gonna put some makeup on. And do my hair. For like the next 30 days…I’m challenging myself to some self care in the form of looking like I give a damn. Wish me luck.