I used to be afraid of bees, but then I moved to Texas and had about 12 wasps nests under my deck and a few in my shed. Centipedes are kinda scary, too ====>
but they don’t fly, and you can pick ’em up with scissors and drop them in bleach, and they die a very satisfying death. Wasps are just evil looking, they travel in packs, and they don’t just die after they sting you–they just keep stinging and stinging. No, I’ve never been stung, but they still suck. The end.
I’ve been thinking a lot about writing lately…journaling, actually. I’ve done it a little bit, but I had the notion to revisit my blog today. Then I realized I never finished my Photo Challenge. On day 27, lo and behold the topic is a picture of me and and a family member.
The picture is of my mom and me. It’s not the greatest one of her, it was on one of her “bad days”. I’m sure I’ll post some of her later on, but this is the only one I have of the two of us.
On October 21st, my mother took her own life. When I was 19, my father did the same. At 34 years old, I have no living parents, and they both chose how and when they were going to die. I go through various emotions every other 5 mins, and I’m sure that I’ll be doing this for sometime. I’m prepared for that. 15 years after my father died, I still ask questions, and I wasn’t even that close to him.
My mom, on the other hand, is almost impossible to process. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said as an adult “I want my mommy” and really meant it. I can safely say right now, I want my mommy, and I can never have her again. The fact that she didn’t just die, she left, makes that realization that much harder.
Regardless of all that, my mama was an amazing woman. She had her struggles, she battled her demons, and sometimes she could drive you insane, but when she was HER…I don’t know a more wonderful person. She was compassionate, and passionate, and creative, and loved harder than I’ve ever known anyone to love. And most of all… I miss her. I miss her, and I just want her back.
I love the Marine Corps. More specifically, I love the Marine Corps Music Program. Some of the most wonderful, memorable experiences of my life are due to my time in the Marine Corps Band. Plus, I met my awesome husband through that time, and have continued to have great life experiences because he is still involved in it. The Marines are a stellar group of human beings, and when you add music to the mix–you really can’t go wrong.
Today, between loads of laundry, I have been researching chickens. Yeah, you read that right. I’ve been thinking about wanting chickens for a few weeks now. I found out that in Oceanside, CA I am allowed six, yes SIX chickens!!! My favorite blog of the week, Little House in the Suburbs, has fun info and other resources, and it seems really easy to keep them! Imagine having eggs of your very own? Just go out and get them each morning? Man… I really want chickens. I want a goat, too, but that’s another story. Of course, I have to wait til we buy a house, because I don’t think my tiny itsy bitsy backyard and stupid gated community can handle chickens, but mark my words… I will have them.