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I’m trying so hard to not complain. I’ve been doing what I can to just say what’s going on with a smile w/o grumbling, but the truth of the matter is, I’m tired and frustrated. I’m overwhelmed, and I feel like crap. Let’s be honest here. I’ve been without a “happy pill” for 9 months now, and food has become my happy pill. Now, however, it’s food that’s causing all my problems so I’m just feeling ridiculously NOT in control of anything.
Gluten is definitely a factor, but it looks like there may be other things working against me, too. I had major hives outbreaks in my face the past 2 days, and had to get yet another steroid shot. I figured out it is probably something in my toothpaste–sorbitol, perhaps. I changed toothpastes, so we’ll see how that goes.
I did stupidly eat a cupcake yesterday, then went to the movies with Bubba. When I got home, I really seriously felt like I was dying. I don’t know if it was solely the cupcake, or if it was combined with something I had for dinner (fajita steak salad w/corn and beans, nothing overtly glutenous, that I know of, at least). Anyway, I was seriously seriously in pain, and ended up throwing up for about 5 minutes straight. I also woke up this morning with hives again. Didn’t realize that I could get hives just 2 days after having a steroid shot, but they sure were there.
I have an MRT panel that I need to get done, but as of right now, Tricare doesn’t cover it. We have supplemental insurance that may take care of the cost, but if it doesn’t, it’s $1000-ish out of pocket. I’m so at my wits’ end that we just may cough up the money and get it done. Mostly, though, I’m just tired. Tired of hurting, tired of hives, tired of feeling like all around poop. Add that onto the fact that I don’t get to eat, when my go-to is to eat and emotionally, I’m a wreck. I’m not saying that that response is a good one, it’s just my defense and the proverbial rug has been pulled out from underneath me. I’m having to come up with different reactions, and it’s not a fun process.